doing less to receive more

“We are not meant to push ourselves through life, but to be pulled by a thread of aliveness.” — Toko-pa Turner

Coming soon:

June 6. First Friday Freewriting Workshop // 7 - 8 pm et
— free for all subscribers

June 12. Creative Courage Writing Intensive Early Bird Enrollment Opens

June 20. Writing About Mental Illness (via The HerStories Project) // 11 am - 12 pm et

June 21. Author visit with Rowana Abbensetts- Dobson // 11 am - 12 pm et
— free for all subscribers

June 22 + 29. Vulnerability in Personal Storytelling (via The Writer’s Center) // 11 am - 1:30 pm et

Weekly Story Work Exercise

Our current theme is against the grain. You can find our recent themes here. You can find all the archives here.

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

In my thirties, I had two profound realizations: first, I realized that a traditional job was not going to make me feel rich no matter how much money I made. And second, that my idea of wealth and success was frustratingly different from that of most people I knew.

With each promotion, I became poorer in time and energy. The more challenges piled up— with my partner and parenting our kids, my parents’ health, my finances, and bad habits—the more I neglected my mental health and emotional well-being.

I was a dam under pressure, and I knew it wouldn't hold much longer.

I became a less present mom, often there but not really there, zoned out and disconnected, sitting them in front of screens. Family essentials like quality time, self-care, and long-term planning were constantly neglected, slipping through the cracks of an overloaded life.

I believed that the only way I could be comfortable financially was to work harder, move up the chain at work, and keep increasing my income.

But slowly, it became clear that the harder I worked, the less I enjoyed the rewards, the more I neglected my blessings.

Even after I left my job to pursue writing and self-employment, the struggle continued. I thought success required relentless effort, even if it meant sacrificing my well-being.

I knew I was drowning, but I kept going. What choice did I have? I had always been an achiever, and I wanted to provide a good life for my family.

Underneath it all, I carried a quiet shame, convinced that my hidden struggle was a sign of weakness, that I was too fragile and incapable to thrive under pressure.

reframing hard work

Hard work, to me, had always meant hustle, willpower, and discipline. Willpower and discipline were never strengths of mine, and I mistook that for laziness. I truly believed I was a lazy person who pushed herself to achieve so she could be worthy of love and belonging.

So, I worked hard: efforting, striving, straining, proving. But as long as I saw productivity as a measure of my worth, that kind of hard work continued to lead to burnout. It just wasn’t sustainable.

What turned out to be worthwhile was the inner work: being honest with myself, facing my fears, and identifying the limiting beliefs that had been shaping my story.

This was hard work, too. But it's the kind of hard that ultimately makes life easier. Even when it’s challenging, it feels purposeful and expansive.

Once I began addressing those internal barriers, external shifts followed.

I started valuing quality over quantity. I started looking at my challenges as teachers and meeting them with curiosity instead of defeat.

I started prioritizing self-care, honoring my needs, my pace, and preferences. Trusting my intuition and making decisions according to my values and not my fears.

And I started to see evidence that taking care of myself and walking in my purpose would take me where I wanted to go.

an inner path to outer success

Choosing this path has been lonely at times.

Some people in my life see me as idealistic, even delusional, for saying that I don’t want to work harder to create an abundant life. I want to work smarter.

This is what I’ve been building—a life where I make a comfortable living being myself.

To some, this sounds crazy. They think it means that you just sit there and wait for things to come to you, and that is not it at all. It’s really a matter of discernment and getting in alignment with your truths and values before you make life decisions.

Working smarter, to me, means working with my inner guidance and not against it. It means working in a way that feels authentic and nourishing, building a life around what I feel made for, not just what pays the most or gains the most praise.

This shift requires a growth mindset and a willingness to release ways of thinking that don’t serve who you uniquely are. It means acting on the belief that you can change your life by changing the stories you tell yourself.