five shifts that elevated my creative practice

and reflections on my love affair with writing

A quick before I get into today’s post: I am currently enrolling in The Inner Story Writing Circle — Mastermind cohort. August through October, I am facilitating this small group coaching cohort for writers and creatives who are seeking personalized support for a creative project or goal. In addition to the small group coaching and individual coaching sessions, you also get access to all the core Inner Story Writing Circle sessions during the three months you’re in the program. There are two spots left.

Photo by Julia Joppien on Unsplash

Recently I was skimming through Wallflower, a collection of notes and essays that I initially self-published almost ten years ago and the following excerpt reminded me that writing is like a love affair and like any love affair, it takes effort to make it work.

My whole courtship with writing has been like falling in love with my best friend, the one I never thought would turn out to be the love of my life. Many times I've taken writing for granted. I've neglected its needs, kept secrets from it and fought with it. But all the breaking up and making up has only made me fall more in love.

Ahh! I remember the version of me that wrote this.

I remember I would post on social media and people would tell me, hey, you should be a writer, and I fell for the idea of it. Like the equivalent of, hey, y’all look cute together. But just like a relationship, you have to discover what it really means to build something long-term and sustainable.

I am and always will be a writer, but making a living as a writer—essentially marrying it—has required a commitment and devotion that has been transformational for me. When the honeymoon stage was over and it was time to plan our life together, it became a journey of facing hidden fears, insecurities, and bad habits so I could give it all I got. As much as we fought, I loved how it brought out the best in me. It went from infatuation to devotion, courage and steadfastness.

To be devoted is to be ardently dedicated and loyal, it is love, faithfulness, and enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.

To have courage is to be steadfast in the face of fear, challenge, or difficulty.

To be steadfast is to be fixed in intensity or direction, to not change or lose purpose, unwavering and determined, resolute and faithful.

Courage, devotion, and steadfastness are three values that have kept my marriage with writing alive. And these things show up in my passion for studying the creative process and how we bring our stories and callings to life.

I say all this to say that if you are infatuated with writing, and you find yourself breaking up and making up, questioning its role in your life—you are not alone. Your relationship with writing doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Focus on your callings and what it takes to bring courage, devotion, and steadfastness to the relationship in ways that inspire and nourish you.

Below I’m sharing five shifts that elevated my creative practice and deepened my commitment.

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1 — Keeping a process journal to study my creative process.

I often mention the late Louise Desalvo in my workshops, author of The Art of Slow Writing and Writing as a Way of Healing. She explains the art of using a process journal to become more in tune with the creative process at work in your life. She says, “Our process journals are where we engage in the nonjudgmental, reflective witnessing of our work. Here, we work at defining ourselves as active, engaged, responsible, patient writers.”

This practice has been pivotal in my development as a writer, helping me turn those three values I mentioned above into actionable behaviors, and do what it takes for this marriage work.

Just like you might keep a journal or log to track what you’re eating or your exercise routine, you can keep a process journal to learn more about what’s working and what’s not in your creative practice.

For example, I’m currently working on a book and every time I work on it I start with a dated and time stamped note in a dedicated journal (separate from my other journals) about how I’m feeling that day and what part I’m going to work on. When I’m done, I jot down how the session went, if I was distracted the whole time, if I was deep in flow and didn’t want to stop, where I stopped and where I want to pick up next. This is invaluable information that helps me become aware of my patterns and process. 

You can find more great ideas for process journaling here, here, and here.

2 — Seeing my brain and body as cooperative partners in what I’m creating instead of servants that I need to force into shape. 

Use your process journal to learn your rhythms so you can work with your body’s needs and not against them. If you find that typically after 30 minutes of writing you need to take a break, then build that into your process. Start by observing yourself to see how long you can concentrate on a project before you need to get up and move your body or take a break in some other way.

Be mindful of how you take your break. Perhaps scrolling for 10 minutes doesn’t help, but maybe moving your body or reading a book for 10 minutes or having a healthy snack does. One thing I know for sure, getting mad at myself for not being able to work for hours with no break was never helpful and only kept my nervous system dysregulated and my mind in negative thought loops.

3 — Turning resistance into content. 

If you’re struggling to do the thing—whether it’s writing, researching, revising, or whatever, take it as an opportunity to study the resistance with curiosity and find language for it. Take it as an opportunity to cultivate flexibility, the ability to work with what’s there.

What does the resistance or creative block feel like? If you could see it, what would it look like? What would it sound like? What would you rather be doing? How would you rather be feeling? Put it into words. You might just end up with pages of writing that help you understand your creative process on a deeper level. 

4 — Question your urgency and expectations.

All of the steps before this one will help with this. Often we have urgency because we’re not setting expectations that make sense for the way our creativity flows. For example, I used to become frustrated if I sat down to write a first draft and two hours later I get up with no draft written.

From studying how my ideas develop through process journaling, I now know that I need to allocate time for prewriting which for me is note-taking, brainstorming, reading, watering the seed of the idea before I even attempt to formalize it in a sensible way. Understanding this helps me allocate my time more intentionally, manage my expectations, and ultimately enjoy the whole process much more.

5 — Seeing everything as a draft, an experiment, a moment in time. Valuing the beauty of in-progress work. 

Part of being a creative is embracing the growth process. The evolution. Recognize the beauty in the unformed mound of clay. The rough draft. The first unpolished but genuine attempts. Just like you might look at a picture of yourself from 10 years ago and wonder how in the world you thought that hairstyle or outfit was cute, you can also look at that picture and appreciate the perfection of who you were in that moment.

The same is true of your artistic efforts. Nothing is final. You will never stop creating and growing. Each iteration is just another snapshot of a moment of time in your story. Find the people who are growth-minded in this way. Tune out the people who judge others and the creative risks they take.

Do these resonate? Which one(s) hit closest to home?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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If you are seeking community and inspiration in your creative life, and you value writing as a tool for self-care, personal growth, and creative expression, consider subscribing and dropping in to join us for some of our monthly workshops. Our next one is Intro to Memoir Journaling on August 18 from 2 - 4 pm et. free for paid subscribers | $40 for drop-ins

If you want consistent accountability and mentorship for your writing practice, considering joining the Inner Story Writing Circle, a month-to-month membership to support your healing, personal story work, and creative development.

If you are seeking personalized guidance, registration for the Inner Story Writing Circle Mastermind cohort is open. This August through October, I am facilitating this small group coaching cohort for writers and creatives who are seeking personalized support for a creative project or goal. If that sounds like you, you can learn more and sign up here. In addition to the small group coaching and individual coaching sessions, you also get access to all the core Inner Story Writing Circle sessions during the three months you’re in the program. There are currently two spots left.

drop in and write with the community this month:

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August 18. Intro to Memoir Journaling // 2 - 4 pm et (free registration for paid subscribers or drop in for $40)

join me for a workshop at the writers center:

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August 21 and 28. Journaling Techniques for Writing Memories // 6 - 8 pm et

drop in for some creative inspiration:

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August 31. Author Chat w/ Jade Olivia // 12 - 1 pm et (details on the giveaway for her book, A Month of Sundays, coming soon!)

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