how to talk to yourself

weekly story work exercise

If you’re new here, Story Work is the name of my current book-in-progress. It describes a process of reflection, reclaiming, and reimagining the stories of our lives. It involves looking at your life experiences as creative material that you have the power to shape. Paid subscribers receive Story Work exercises every Sunday night at 8 pm et.

Read on for an update and a preview of our weekly exercise.

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Photo by Ian Kuik on Unsplash

On January 27 at 10 am et, the Inner Story Writing Circle will be joined by author Natalie Lue to discuss her book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want. We’ll be discussing the book, her writing journey, and creative practice.

If you are not a member and would like to join us, you can purchase a copy of Natalie’s book (any format), email me proof of purchase, and I’ll send you the link to join us. Proof of purchase can be a photo of you with the book, a picture of your receipt, etc.

I’m also hosting a giveaway. Everyone who comments on this or any post that goes up between today and Thursday, January 25 will be entered to win a copy of The Joy of Saying No and access to our visit with her on January 27.

how to talk to yourself

You’re watching your gray and brown tabby cat sitting on top of her fuzzy tower by the window watching the birds and squirrels go about their daily adventures. You’re thinking about her animal instincts and if she longs to be out there running wild, hunting, and exploring. You don’t know if you’re feeling her feelings or channeling your craving through her.

The outside world is unsafe for your precious tabby, so you keep her indoors, wrapped in love and warmth where she can live out her days without the need to fight for survival. But you wonder if she looks out the window and yearns to join the wild. 

Now that you’re in your forties, your old fear of missing out has turned into a preference for staying home. And still, adventure calls and you miss the wanderer who trusted the wind to carry her, who hopped on flying carpets, and ventured into the rush without fear. 

Did you notice when you changed? Did you notice what caused it?

You went from living for the moment to having babies who needed structure and routine. That’s when you noticed that the noise of the world was drowning out a cry from inside and you turned inward. You switched from commuting to a busy office in the city everyday to working from the comfort of your home. 

Then strange things started happening. Remember the outburst at the beauty expo when you were a hair blogger? How you practically screamed in that poor woman’s face? Remember getting you and your New York friend lost in DC when you thought you knew where you were going? Remember the meltdowns in the MVA, at the car rental place, at the train station? Remember the sweating and the stuttering and the panic? How people looked at you the way they used to look at your mom? Remember how you lost your nerve and your confidence? 

Then the pandemic forced all of us indoors, and you were relieved, because more and more, outside felt like a shifty place that overstimulated this healing, vulnerable version of you. 

Even though we’re now in our post-covid normal and we can go outside, it’s way harder for you than it used to be. It’s affecting your personal and professional life at this point. You recently turned down an opportunity to facilitate workshops in the jungle because it required you to travel outside of your familiar. 

What are you afraid of? What are you avoiding?

You hear yourself telling people that anxiety doesn’t affect you like it used to and you’re doing so much better, but isn’t part of that because you are limiting your exposure to new environments?

Are you being honest with yourself?

During the day, you dream of travel and adventure and new people and experiences. When you go to bed at night, you dream of getting lost, missing the flight, never making it home.

What does this contrast mean? What are you going to do about it?

Are you content to look out the window and live vicariously? Does it have to be one or the other?

How can you indulge the part of you that craves adventure while nurturing the part of you that demands seclusion?  How can you make them both feel seen, and heard, and loved?

Exercise:

For the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring different types of point of view in storytelling, and how we can experiment with them to develop our writing and discover new insights.

This week I took a journal entry where I was writing about declining an opportunity to be a facilitator at a writing retreat in the jungle, and I decided to switch up the point of view to the second person, hoping I’d learn something new and surprise myself.

Your exercise is to write a self-discovery or confessional piece to yourself in the second person, observing yourself the same way you would observe someone else. Write about a dream, fear, obsession, or characteristic that you are seeking to understand in a deeper way.

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