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“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — attributed to Seneca, a Roman Stoic philosopher
When I looked up this quote, I found out that it’s attributed to Seneca, but I know this quote from a 1998 Semisonic song called Closing Time. (I love 90’s alternative music, y’all.)
Anyway, life is a series of beginnings and endings. As humans, we resist this truth more than anything else, don’t we? We want to control the beginnings and endings. We want things to happen in our own time. Surrendering to what we can and can’t control is one of the life lessons that every human must learn or deal with the suffering of not learning.
In When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chödrön says: “Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.”
We don’t know if the relationship that just ended will create space for a healthier more aligned connection in the future. We don’t know if a health condition that we didn’t choose could be the impetus for a spiritual awakening. We don’t know if the rejection that sent us reeling will be the beginning of a powerful redirection. We resist because saying hello to the new, means saying goodbye to what you know. But something has to end for us to take the next step in life, and I’ve come to believe that when something ends there is always something just as meaningful—if not more more so— coming down the pike. Because the ending leaves a space and within that space we expand to be able to hold more wisdom, appreciation, presence, and grace.
The more we become open to not knowing, the more we cultivate a beginner’s mind, and we can find ways to practice this way of being in our daily lives from the mundane to the extraordinary. Beginner’s mind is about freeing ourselves from preconceived expectations about what should happen next, and by doing so reducing the risk of anxiety or disappointment. By being more open and curious in our daily lives, we can unlock deeper creativity, flexibility, and resilience to adversity.
When you write with beginner’s mind, you can see your story with fresh eyes. It’s a healthy approach to writing and living from the openness of your heart. This week, let’s practice beginner’s mind by acknowledging the endings in our lives that have given birth to new beginnings.
Exercise:
Reflect on your life and make a list of endings that have resulted in new beginnings. There are a few ways you can journal about this list.
- You can tell yourself the transformational story of what happened, going from the ending, to the liminal space in between, to the new beginning.
- You can look for patterns or themes that you see when you look at your list and journal about what life lessons or universal truths that you see speaking to you from these experiences.
- You can choose some other approach that speaks to you. The objective is to explore the insights that come up when you observe the endings in your life from a place of curiosity.
What is Story Work?
Story Work is the name of my current book-in-progress and it describes a process of reflection, reclaiming, and reimagining. It involves looking at your life experiences as creative material that you have the power to shape. When you see your life as a story full of turning points and transformations, you can use creative thinking to reshape narratives that don’t serve you. By cultivating this ability, you can uncover compelling storylines and new visions for your life. My coaching clients and paid subscribers receive Story Work exercises every Sunday night. The topics cover universal life themes, with references from literature, philosophy, science, and spirituality; offering perspectives that spark ideas and get you writing.