self-compassion is a practice
self-compassion is a practice
zoom link and last call for The Practice session on 11/8 at 7 pm et
Our next installment of The Practice is happening tomorrow, November 8 at 7 pm et. These are group journaling sessions with invited guests who share a journaling exercise with the group, so we can write, discuss, discover, and grow together in creative community. These sessions are free for paid subscribers, or you can drop in for a $15 fee. If you are a paid subscriber, you will find the Zoom link to RSVP below.
“Criticism is my default, and compassion is a practice.” When I read this line in L’Oreal Thompson Payton’s book Stop Waiting for Perfect, I paused to let it sink in. Because why is it that compassion for others comes so naturally to me, but it’s been a constant uphill climb to cultivate compassion for myself? Why is this something that so many of us—particularly women—struggle with?
Likewise, if you’re a writer/artist/creative, I dare to say that your inner critic is a big challenge in your creative path. It’s not something we can simply get rid of, but we can seek a deeper understanding of it, and we can shift the angle from which we look a it.
Y’all should already know what I’m going to say next. This, too—this inner voice that is so quick to try and shut us down when we step outside of our familiar—is creative material that can be worked with. The voice’s criticism and complaints can be investigated and transformed. You can question what your inner critic says to you, get curious about it, and experiment with responding to it differently.
In her book, L’Oreal offers context through research findings and transparency through her own personal stories. She provides actionable tools that can be practiced and applied in your daily life to gradually become aware of negative self-talk and implement ways to build your own self-compassion practice.
I particularly like the one where you picture your younger self. She says, “I think back to five-year-old L’Oreal and imagine myself saying those things to her. I can’t. To do so is both unimaginable and cruel to an nth degree. Younger me needed someone to lift her up, to reminder her that her voice is worthy and her ideas and opinions matter. Perhaps younger you needs that reminder, too. Or present day you. No matter how old we get, we carry our younger selves with us. Might as well be kind to them, too.”
I know this little girl is still very much alive inside of me, and since I rediscovered her a few years ago, I’ve been committed to listening to her, letting her speak her truths, and be herself without silencing and criticizing her. I fall off sometimes and regress into old habits, or I notice a limiting belief I’m harboring that undermines her, and I catch myself, and I start again. Like L’Oreal says, this is truly a practice.
Tomorrow evening we are gathering for the 9th session of The Practice with journals and pens to do some investigating and reframing. L’Oreal will help us identify our inner critics; guide us through a powerful journaling exercise where we will pen breakup letters to our inner critics; and learn self-compassion exercises to use when negative self-talk inevitably tries to get in the way.
These sessions are free for paid subscribers, or you can drop in for a $15 fee. If you are a paid subscriber, you will find the Zoom link to RSVP below.