signs of progress that may feel like failure

on tolerating discomfort to awaken creative courage

May 18, 2024

Hi everyone, I’m writing with a story about how failure led to progress in my creative journey, followed by details on the Creative Courage Writing Intensive which is currently open for registration.

me in 2019 with my first three books when I was trying to figure out my next steps

In 2019, I was developing and facilitating workshops, and trying to figure out how to create a sustainable income from my creative work. In April of that year, the long-term contract I had as a financial writer ended, which had a major impact on my income. I figured it was time to go all in on my creative work.

I started a writing group called the All the Many Layers Writing Circle. I’d been self-publishing books and facilitating workshops for about five years at the time, and I wanted to get experience in long-term group coaching. Enrollment and engagement were good, but I chose to close the group after less than a year.

The decision to shut it down came from an exciting opportunity. I was commissioned to author a book on self-care, the Self-Care Check-in Guided Journal. I had never worked with a publisher before, and I was overwhelmed by the two-month turnaround time they requested. The thought of trying to keep the circle open while writing the book felt like taking on two full-time jobs. So I closed the group and put coaching on the back burner to focus on writing.

In my mind, this was a failure. I was embarrassed. Told myself I was letting the writers in the group down. Compared myself to other women, especially moms, who seemed to be juggling way more than me and killing it. Despite my self-criticism, I was honest with my community about why I was doing it. I was like, look y’all, I have a vision and to bring it to life I’m going to have to learn how to manage my time + energy, regulate my nervous system, and develop processes and systems so I can handle it all. I’m gonna step away to figure it out and when the time is right, I’ll be in a better position to teach what I’ve learned.

I would end up writing another journal for that publisher, so I spent 2020-22 writing, promoting, facilitating, and speaking, thanks to the opportunities that those books brought my way. By late 2022, I was ready to start another writing group.

What was the difference?

When I closed the first writing group, I didn’t have a reliable creative process, and I didn’t have active boundaries. The experience revealed blind spots and learning curves that I needed to investigate. I researched, tested, observed, and analyzed my methods. I studied my creative process like a scientist studying an experiment.

My vision was to build a thriving coaching practice and a prolific career as an author. So I needed to focus on expanding my capacity to take on more responsibility in a physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy way.

To realize that vision, I needed to go through uncomfortable experiences and learn that they were not signs of failure like I initially thought; they were actually signs of progress that would help me develop the creative courage I needed for the journey.

Consider the following signs of progress that may feel like failure:

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1 — Detours

Growth is not linear. Detours are part of every journey, but if you are true to your values you are always on the right track. Expect ups and downs and turnarounds. Always examine why you are changing direction. Are you pivoting for authentic, values-based reasons? Are you pivoting because of circumstances outside of your control and you’re making the best out of a difficult situation? or Are you pivoting to cater to other people’s expectations, and are you betraying yourself to do so?

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2 — Rejections

Rejection is a form of alignment. Whether you are applying for a job, pitching a creative idea, applying for a grant, cold calling, or asking for help, rejection is a sign that you are putting yourself out there, you are learning what works and what doesn’t. Let yourself feel the disappointment, but don’t take it personally. Separate your worth from your results. Every time your work is rejected, you have the opportunity to look at it with fresh eyes and decide if/how you will refine your approach.

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3 — Resets

Life-changing events can happen at any time and sometimes you will have to start over, say goodbye, or let go. You will have to move on or become a beginner again. You will hear different opinions telling you what you should do, and you will have to trust your inner guidance. Often people stay in situations that aren’t serving them because they’re afraid to start over. But this is one of the most powerful ways to build courage and show yourself how resilient you are.

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4 — Rest

Rest fuels the creative process, and yet it’s the most overlooked part of it. Some of us are still embarrassed to admit that we need rest, self-care, and rejuvenation. We’ve been programmed to think that needing rest is a sign of weakness or failure. I was a workaholic who thought that rest would lead to being left behind. But avoiding it only weakens your inner resources. When you honor your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs, you can work with your natural cycles, not against them.

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5 — Quiet

One of the loudest silences is when you are vulnerable and put yourself out there and hear nothing at all in response. You feel like you are speaking into a void and no one hears you or cares. Writers know this all too well. But this is not failure, on the contrary, it’s part of the process. There is a lag time between the inner work and the impact of outer expression. Quiet teaches you to create your own momentum and rely on intrinsic motivation. Trust that forces beyond your awareness are moving on your behalf, even when it's quiet.

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6 — Resistance

Even resistance can be a sign of progress when you look at it as information. What parts of the creative process do you resist and why? Get to know your fears intimately. Study your patterns of behavior. Before my ADHD diagnosis, there was always some shame that accompanied my resistance. Why can’t I ‘just do it’ like people are always telling me? Why can’t I get my heart and mind to cooperate? Learning that my brain works differently got the shame and confusion out of the way, so I could focus on finding solutions.

As I shared in dreaming and doing, when you understand your habits and tendencies, you can take action to give yourself the support you need. When you don’t seek this deeper understanding, it’s easier for your inner critic to shut you down and keep you from expanding.

The Creative Courage framework incorporates all of these reframes and more. The material is based on client-tested mindset shifts that will transform your creative practice.

the creative courage writing intensive

This 12-week experience provides detailed guidance on how to recover your creative identity, empower the creative process in your daily life, use writing to reclaim your story, and develop the mindset needed to bring your creative visions to life.

In the Creative Courage Writing Intensive, we break the heart-centered work of self-discovery down into a process that benefits you, not just creatively, but holistically, impacting your entire life.

Early bird registration is open now through Wednesday, May 22. Regular registration is open from May 23 - June 6 or until all spots are full. You can get all the details here.

this workshop is for you if:

You are called to take on a new creative project or open paths to more expression in your life.
You’re seeking practical tools to overcome the creative fears that keep you from acting on your ideas.
You’re a purpose-driven writer who wants to work through the fear of vulnerability.
You want to develop a creative process that works for your temperament and lifestyle.
You want to stop daydreaming about writing and start taking action.
You’re seeking a mentor + community that help you see and believe that a creative life is possible.

this workshop is not for you if:

You’re not looking for a holistic approach that incorporates mindset work, mindfulness practices, and self-care strategies into your creative practice.
You’re not interested in using writing exercises as a tool for creative self-discovery.
You’re seeking a workshop that focuses on craft and skill over vulnerability and courage.
You’re looking for shortcuts or hacks to achieve your creative goals.
You’re not willing or able to carve out time to do the exercises.
You’re not willing or able to bring an open heart and mind to the group.

You never know where your creative journey might take you. The Creative Courage Intensive will give you the mindset and toolbox you need for the journey.