the journey is the destination

plus, connect session tonight at 6 pm et

Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash

Lately, people have been asking me how I feel now that I have finished my manuscript. I feel grateful. I feel proud of myself. I feel like it is a bright moment in an ongoing, multi-faceted journey. The opportunity is something I called in, not something I chased down, and this difference is significant to me.

Finishing this project reminded me that what I want—what any of us want when we want things—is the feeling that we think that thing will give us. I used to want a book deal because I thought it would make me feel like a 'real writer.' But on the contrary, it wasn’t until I embodied the mindset and habits of a 'real writer' that the stars aligned and the opportunity came through.

It's easy to get caught up in chasing goals and achievements and lose touch with what they really mean to you on a soulful level.

This is a reminder to go beyond the surface to what feeling you are seeking, so you can embody that feeling as you call in what you want.

This is nothing new. It’s essentially Manifestation 101. I reoriented my life in this way years ago when I decided to stop depending on people, titles, and dollar signs to make me feel worthy, safe, and loved. I decided to try a different way. Life coach, Wynoami Glasser, calls it The BE DO HAVE Mentality. Let me explain.

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In the late 2000s, I was lost and uninspired and didn’t know how to fill the void and change my life. I was trying to find fulfillment in a career and lifestyle that didn’t allow me to express the parts of myself that lit me up. I figured I would have to put my callings aside and wait until one day in the future when I’d earned the right to follow my passions.

According to Glasser’s model, I had a Victim (HAVE DO BE) mentality. I told myself:

“When I HAVE enough time, money and support, then I’ll DO the things I’ve always wanted to, and then I’ll BE happy and successful. The problem is I don’t HAVE yet. If I had what that person had, I’d certainly be as successful as them, but I don’t so I’m not.“

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In the early 2010s, I started writing about my vision of creative living. A life where I get to write every day. Where my passions are the center of my lifestyle. It was a calling that whispered: question your limitations, follow your curiosity, express yourself, see what happens.

I didn’t have a roadmap to follow. It was a revolution for someone like me—who had only ever looked outside of herself for examples of what to do and what not to do, and who had no sense of her own agency—to create a new vision of what success could look like.

In 2013, I quit my job.

I don’t know what possessed me, someone so afraid to go against the grain. I had no evidence that this calling would not ruin me. I had no guarantee that my journey wouldn’t end in regret. But it was a hunger and suppressing it was starving my spirit. The hunger made me desperate and I was still in survival mode trying to prove to myself and others that I hadn’t made a terrible mistake by taking this leap. By 2017, I found myself burnt out in a hopeless place.

I had a Worker (DO HAVE BE) mentality. I told myself:

“The more I DO, the more I’ll HAVE. The more I HAVE, the happier I’ll BE. The problem is, the more I do, the more there is still to do and the more I have to do, the more there is still to have. I am defined by what I do so I become driven, busy and tired. The more I have, the more there is to lose so the harder I work.”

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In 2018, I focused on my authentic needs based on the idea that it matters how you feel. When you learn how to consciously take care of yourself, you find mental and emotional space to imagine more, to give and receive more. I slowed my life down to a pace where I could make values-based, empowered decisions. I raised my vibration through self-care so I could receive higher callings.

I developed a Creator (BE DO HAVE) mentality:

“Who do I need to BE? What kind of person would have access to the kind of outcomes I want? Then being that kind of person, what would I be DOing? Then the HAVING takes care of itself.”

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When I talk this way to some people in my life, they look at me crazy and I suppose I sound delusional to them and yet here I am having this experience, and no one can diminish it for me despite how much they may not understand it.

This is creative courage. To create the life you envision for yourself through daily choices and deviations from the status quo. The challenge is to not place your joy in accomplishments but to treat them like blessings, bright moments, winks from the universe, along the way as you build a life that nurtures you—mind, body, and soul.

You see, the journey is the destination. A meaningful journey is the reward for centering your authentic needs, values, gifts, callings, and passions.

You wouldn’t have the desire or calling that you do if that path wasn’t meant for you. Callings are not just far-off destinations, they are divinely lit pathways that lead us through life, enriching our journeys with purpose. Our challenge is to trust the process and where it leads because it doesn’t always look exactly like we think it will.

It feels different when you achieve things from a space of desperation compared to having surrendered and given yourself over to the process.

When the journey is the destination, you are trusting the unknown, trusting the answers that you will find in the work, and trusting that the journey is the ultimate reward. A lifestyle that is shaped by creative callings, leaps of faith, learning curves, disappointments, bright moments, and more—all with the understanding that you are co-creating the story of your life.

Here are some questions for your reflection.

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After reflecting on the Victim, Worker, and Creator narratives, answer the following prompts:

• Which mindset have you spent most of your life acting from? How has this mindset affected your outlook on your creative callings and visions?

• Write a testimony from the perspective of your future self experiencing something that you’ve dreamed of. Perhaps you are paying off your last bill to be debt-free. Maybe you are free of an unhealthy relationship or completing a creative project. How does it feel? What is something you can do to gain access to that feeling right now?

the creative courage writing intensive

Creative exploration is an authentic need. In my coaching practice, I define an authentic need as a practice or habit that feeds your mind, body, and soul.

To step into the creative work you long to do, to carve out space and time for fulfilling projects, to find strength in the vulnerability of sharing your story, you won't be able to rely on the rules that you've followed this far. You need new permissions and a new roadmap. This is why I created the Creative Courage Writing Intensive.

This 12-week experience provides detailed guidance on how to recover your creative identity, empower the creative process in your daily life, use writing to reclaim your story + develop the mindset needed to bring your creative visions to life.

This framework brings together my experience as a writer + self-care author, creative coach, and storytelling consultant. I leverage my corporate and creative experience to target barriers to expression for people from all walks of life. The material is based on client-tested self-discovery work that clarifies and transforms your creative practice. I use this framework with individual clients and small groups, as well as organizational clients like the University of Maryland School of Public Health and Cornell University.

Early bird registration opens on December 9. To be notified when registration opens and get access to the early bird discount, you can sign up for the waitlist here.

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Take this thought from journalist and filmmaker Gabriella Lewis via The Creative Independent with you:

“It’s the creative interpretation of Newton’s First Law of Motion: a body in motion stays in motion. There’s a natural momentum to all of it. Once you start moving towards the thing, it is only a matter of time before you get there. Give yourself the opportunity to show yourself what you’re capable of. You’ll surprise yourself every time.”

coming soon:

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December 4. Connect Session w/ GG: Creative Projects + Self-Care // 6 - 7 pm et

December 6. Free Writing the Layers Monthly Workshop // 7 - 8 pm et

December 14. Author Visit w/ Diamonde Williamson // 12 - 1 pm et