the right invitation
weekly story work exercise
If you’re new here, Story Work is the name of my current book-in-progress. It describes a process of reflection, reclaiming, and reimagining the stories of our lives. It involves looking at your life experiences as creative material that you have the power to shape. Paid subscribers receive Story Work exercises every Sunday night at 8 pm et. If you are interested in receiving this weekly flow of self-reflection ideas for your writing practice, plus access to our monthly group journaling session, The Practice, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Read on for a preview of our weekly exercise.
For the next few weeks, our theme is The Makings of Courage and what we’re exploring here is how creative blocks come from emotional blocks. Last week, the post was about the chakras (the body’s energy centers) and how stagnant energy in our bodies impacts the way we experience life and express ourselves. When the throat chakra is not free to transmit our truth into the world because shame, guilt, regret, blame, and so on, our ability to manifest our creative callings is limited. One way or another, to access creative courage, we need to address the pain, shame, and conditioning that block us from fuller expression.
Last week’s exercise was to practice activating our throat chakras by reading and journaling from Audre Lorde’s essay, “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action.” When we feel stifled creatively, reading and journaling are two powerful ways to open our throat chakras and allow more authentic expression to come through.
In the Creative Courage Writing Intensive, which is open for enrollment, we spend time identifying more practices—which are unique to each of us— that we can build into our lives to help us get unblocked.
This week’s story work exercise is about finding an inviting path out of your comfort zone that adds meaning to your life and doesn’t feel forced.
The Mary Kay rep sits before me in a pink pantsuit and pink pumps saying, “Don’t sell yourself short. You can change your life if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.”
I’d agreed to meet her for coffee after being referred by my sister. I’m in my early twenties, and I’m looking for a side hustle. She’s looking for another rep to add to her team. She knows how to get to the heart of the sale: make the emotional connection between what you’re selling and the customer’s needs and desires. She skillfully gets me talking about my lifestyle and finances, telling her all about my student loan and credit card debt.
“I have a full-time job, but with all my other bills, I’m only making enough to pay the minimums. I’ll never get anywhere like that.”
She nods along compassionately as I’m talking. Tells me that if I follow her lead, I can pay off all that debt in a year. In an instant my mind flashes with images of financial freedom, paying off bills and taking trips. Sending my dad money every month. My heart beats faster imagining the relief. Wow, okay, what could be so bad about selling makeup for a year? I love beauty products. I love black women. Cool. As long as I don’t have to where pink suits and pumps, I can do this.
She told me exactly what to do and say. Buy the makeup. Wear the makeup. Come up with a story about being a woman finding empowerment through entrepreneurship. Call all of my friends and family, tell them about my new venture, and ask for their support. Spread the word to my coworkers. Host makeup parties. Recruit other reps. Make tons of money. This will be easy.
Pink Pumps called me every day to check on my progress, and there was never much to report. I made a couple of calls, but they felt forced and inauthentic. The possibility of financial freedom didn’t bring the magic out of me. I didn’t have a heartfelt reason that I could draw courage from. I stared at the list, and wondered what was wrong with me. I told her that I didn’t think I was cut out to be a salesperson.
On one of our many calls, she said, “It may not come naturally to you, but you can learn. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. That’s the only way to change your life.”
Her words rang true, but intuitively I knew that I couldn’t apply them in this particular way. It took me awhile to figure out the disconnect. Still swimming in debt and eager for relief, I started and quit three more MLM (multi-level marketing) businesses and several other side gigs over the years before I finally realized that get rich quick schemes wouldn’t mobilize me, financially or otherwise. I was restless for a more authentic invitation.
I didn’t find the capacity to feal the fear and do it anyway until I found an outlet that motivated something deeper within me. Money wasn’t enough. Success wasn’t enough. Even the need for stability and security only pulled enough motivation out of me to scrape by. To go beyond survival to abundance, I would need to find a spiritual purpose, an emotional connection, nourishment for my soul.
I stopped looking for quick fixes, and started seeking out ways to understand myself better. The invitation to write came through reading, and therapy, and friends who saw me in ways I didn’t see myself. I accepted that invitation and wrote myself out of my comfort zone. I had no expectation but to grow.
Creating for the sake of creating pulled me out of my comfort zone into my growth zone, where courage is cultivated. I felt the fear, and I was compelled to keep going in spite of it. I was motivated by self-discovery, and the courage came slowly, but naturally. Eventually, money came, too.
Courage comes from authentic awareness and deep conviction. I realized that I wasn’t lazy or incapable, I just hadn’t found a path that truly aligned with who I am.
It makes a world of difference if your creative endeavors, whether personal or professional, are rooted in self-honesty and discovery. The first step to every project should be to establish your purpose, what you want to get out of it. If it feels forced, you have some soul searching to do.
Exercise:
Our exercise this week is to write a story or reflection about an invitation to venture outside of your comfort zone. Where did the invitation come from? How did you respond to it? What did you learn about yourself? How can you apply what you learned to your current creative challenges?
"I didn’t find the capacity to feel the fear and do it anyway until I found an outlet that motivated something deeper within me." - THIS! I've now learned myself well enough to know when and when not to pursue certain endeavors because I know I don't have a strong enough connection or deep motivation to it. Especially if the sole purpose for the idea is to make money. Being heart-centered not just in writing does that and I'm so glad you eventually found your calling and helped birthed the callings of so many others by doing so!