the stories you need to tell

and the benefits of writing your way through life

thank you ashleigh for this photo and for being a source of sunshine in so many rooms over the years

The first time I facilitated a writing workshop on writing about mental illness was in January 2020 at The Writer’s Center in Bethesda, Maryland. The other facilitators and panelists had more credentials and experience than me, and my stomach flip flopped all the way there thinking about worse case scenarios. What if the other facilitators look down on me? What if no one comes to my session? What if I’m so nervous that I can’t think straight? I kept reminding myself: You belong. You were invited to do this for a reason. You have a message someone needs to hear. Nonetheless, I walked into the building sweaty and overstimulated by my own thoughts. 

Fortunately, I was the first one to the classroom. I passed out the materials, chose a seat at the head of the table and sat down to wait, stomach bubbling, sipping water to simmer down. As each person came in, I greeted them with a smile and a hello.

As we introduced ourselves, I looked at each person as someone who chose to be there, to let their guard down, and write about mental illness and its impact on their lives. As the room filled, my energy shifted away from my own neurosis, and I focused on the environment I wanted to create. It was my responsibility to make this an affirming experience, to make the writers feel comfortable, seen, and heard. This is my zone. This comes naturally to me. A combination of temperament and survival skills I learned as a child growing up with a mentally ill parent, I know how to create calm spaces where people feel safe to just be.

I had a group of about 20 writers, all ages, backgrounds and writing levels. It didn’t matter what credentials any of us had because we weren’t there to impress each other, we were there to write what we needed to say, to hear what we needed to understand. The workshop was a 90-minute escape into creative intimacy and connection, and we all left with each other’s generous offerings—our stories. Each one, a seed planted. Each one, a source of courage.

After the workshop, I served as a panelist for a discussion on mental illness through a literary lens, then I chatted with participants after the symposium was done. I met a writer who said my workshop was the best writing experience she’d ever had. I also met a writer who told me I was a wonderful facilitator, but my books were unimpressive. The event both drained my energy and fed my soul in the most vital ways, which is no surprise, because this is what vulnerability does.

Driving home I thought about how many times I’d lied over the years to cover up my mother’s mental health struggles and my own. The times I’d risked honesty, revealed a truth, and had it used against me. The times I was told that I needed to block out the past to move forward. That I needed to hide my mental health needs in order to be taken seriously. How these demoralizing situations kept coming up until I decided to reclaim my story one truth at a time, embracing every part of my lived experience so I can be empowered instead of weakened by it.

I went home to my man and my littles with a check that would pay approximately one household bill, and a sense of wealthiness that money can’t measure. This was one of many experiences that I revisit when I need to remember my guiding principles and what my creative work is about.

When it comes to our creative efforts, it’s easy to get distracted by fear and discomfort. It’s human nature to notice the obstacles more than the benefits. And as someone who copes with intrusive anxiety and high sensitivity, when I don’t center myself, it’s predictable that I will become overwhelmed and burnt out by the constant vulnerability of this work.

But even through the challenges, I wouldn’t go back to swallowing my voice. Writing my way through life allows me to see the stories I am telling myself in my mind, so I can find new meanings and perspectives, and any defeated outlook I’m harboring becomes more flexible and hopeful. I used to be ashamed of the things that I talk about freely now, and I know that life has uniquely qualified me to guide others to that freedom.

Writing your way through life is a practice that can:

…support you in finding healing narratives for painful experiences
…help you process your emotions to alleviate stress and anxiety
…identify thoughts and beliefs that aren’t serving your well-being
…help you integrate instead of suppress the shadows of your character
…keep you tuned into your inner guidance
…open your mind to new visions and possibilities

This list could go on and on. The question is:

Can you give yourself permission to write the stories that are inside of you, not as a measure of your talent or worthiness, but as a practice that builds courage and fills the air with heart and sincerity? The world desperately needs more people acting from love instead of fear. Ripple effects here. Ripple effects there. If we dare to tell the truth about ourselves, in whatever form that takes, we can set an example of how we want the world to be. When we do this, at the very least, we are creating this world for ourselves.

opportunities to work closely with me:

creative courage writing intensive

Registration for the next cohort of The Creative Courage Writing Intensive ends on January 7 and we start on January 11. This is my signature offering that lays the foundation for how I coach, mentor, and of course, navigate my own creative journey.

We break the heart-centered work of self-discovery down into a process that benefits you, not just creatively, but holistically. You will be guided through a 3-month transformation of how you think about your creative work and how it fits into your life. With mentorship and community, you will develop the courage to ask yourself hard questions and explore the answers through creative expression. All while learning strategies to cultivate a lifestyle that fuels that courage. 

To learn more, you can get all the details here.

join the inner story circle:

For an all-access writing group to support your personal story work & creative development, you can join us in the inner story writing circle. A monthly subscription for people seeking ongoing creative guidance and community for the heart-centered work of writing about their lives. Each month members have access to a variety of virtual sessions to study, share, and celebrate personal storytelling. You can learn more here.

one-on-one sessions:

I offer custom coaching to individuals on writing projects, creative mindset and lifestyle. I meet you where you are providing strategies to build courage and confidence, learn new ways to approach writing, incorporate creative exploration and development into your lifestyle; and if you wish, discover a variety of ways to share, publish, and build a platform for your work. I’m full for January, but you can sign up for the waitlist here.

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write in community this january:

January 5. Free Writing the Layers Monthly Workshop // 7 pm et

January 7. The Practice Journaling Session #11 - Creating Your 2024 (free) // 2 - 3:30 pm et

January 11 - March 21. The Creative Courage Writing Intensive // various dates

January 21 and 28. Journaling Techniques for Writing Memories (w/ The Writer’s Center) // 1 - 4 pm et