we call it healing

plus, author visit and book giveaway

Hi friends,

I had a frustrating conversation with a loved one recently about the overuse of the word healing. Wrote this and wanted to share.

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Healing is such a loosely used word these days, but I keep using it because every life includes pain, and every human will be affected by unwanted loss and will seek healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with it.

I came of age in a world where only Big-T traumas were acknowledged and if you didn’t have a Big-T trauma in your life like death, violence, poverty, or abuse then you have nothing to heal from. You should be fine, and if you’re not, there’s something wrong with you. Wrong, as in flawed. Flawed, as in broken. Mental health awareness has broadened this limited understanding of trauma for those of us who have tuned in to find perspective.

We have learned that we all have pain to heal from and it affects our lives in mysterious ways when we don’t face it. We are not static creatures, so we are never fully mended, we just keep living and coping as we go. We call it self-care. We call it growth. We call it healing.

We heal in layers. Each time we peel back a new layer, our energy changes. The way we think, speak, and show up changes. It’s this continuous unfolding. We are becoming and also returning to the fully expressed souls we were born to be before the world tried to define us.

We heal through action. Our lives are shaped by how we respond to what we can’t control. Our choices show us our wounds or our wisdom. We don’t always pay attention. We don’t always make the connections, notice the lessons, or give ourselves grace. But when we do, we get to become intentional. We call it discovery. We call it creation. We call it healing.

I want to live in a world where individuals know their inner work serves a universal purpose. Where pain is a collective calling to love each other and care is central to our efforts and collaborations.

Where we can be hurt, and still be whole, and we call it healing.

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Author Visit w/ MaryB. Safrit on October 16 from 5 - 6 pm et
open to all subscribers: register here

MaryB. Safrit is a New York City-based writer, relationship coach, merch maker, and host of the Found Family podcast. She is passionate about helping folks recovering from high-control religion reclaim their agency and create found family in their actual lives. MaryB. is also your friendly-neighborhood bisexual, a recovering people pleaser, and enthusiastic connector.

We will be chatting with MaryB about her podcast, Found Family, which in her words, celebrates the creative communities we make in our actual lives.

From her website:

Many of us have been sold the idea that family is a matter of blood and legally binding agreements. But something in you knows that can't be all there is. You believe humans were made with an expansive capacity for love and need all kinds of relationships. What is the alternative to the model we've been given?

Welcome to Found Family. Every Tuesday, I have honest conversations with our dynamite guests, celebrating the creative ways they make community in their actual lives and providing tips about how you can do the same.

I’m also giving away two copies of her book, The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide: How to Navigate Church Culture and Conversations Without Losing Your Mind. You can enter to win by leaving a comment below by Tuesday, October 15.

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drop in and write with the community this month:

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October 16. Author Chat w/ Mary B. Safrit // 5 - 6 pm et

November 3. The Practice Session #18: One Story, Three Ways w/GG // 12 - 2 pm et

take a class with me through the writer’s center:

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October 23 and 30. Vulnerability in Personal Storytelling // 6:30 - 9 pm et